Alien Invasion

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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: ALIENS ARE ATTACKING ME
You: I NEED EVASION TECHNIQUES
Stranger: joly shit!
Stranger: salt throw salt at them
You: I DON'T HAVE SALT
You: IT'S UNHEALTHY
You: DAMN ME AND MY HEALTHY EATING HABITS
Stranger: make sure they don't get to your sinthrian crystals
Stranger: see what happens when you become a vegan
You: I'm not a vegan
Stranger: kick them in the balls or viginas
You: I just don't like salt much
Stranger: too salty?
You: I CANNOT LOCATE THEIR VARIOUS GENITALIA
Stranger: umm umm ummm
Stranger: what do you have thats near you?
You: A severed leg
You: MY OWN severed leg
You: Damn them aliens
Stranger: good use it as a club
Stranger: stay with me
Stranger: i'll get you through this okay
You: *picks up leg*
You: I don't know if this'll work very well, but okay
Stranger: ok find the soft spot on there heads
You: *starts hitting one of the aliens on the head*
Stranger: you there
You: Yeah
Stranger: did it work
You: I'm not sure
You: The other two are shooting me at the moment
You: I can't feel my other leg
You: O.o
Stranger: use your severed leg as a boomerang
Stranger: stay with me. Thats a sign they hit your other leg with a tranqulizer
You: *throws severed leg*
You: *leg catches one of their guns*
You: *leg boomerangs back*
You: YES
Stranger: hopefully you have a hot babe near you to make your leg go better]
Stranger: it works in the movies
Stranger: o thank jesus
You: *picks up gun*
Stranger: take one of there guns if its possiable
You: Now where is that trigger...
You: *pulls trigger on accident*
Stranger: just keep hitting it
You: DAMNIT THERE GOES MY HAND
Stranger: damn it
Stranger: stay with me stay with me
You: I'm here
Stranger: do you trust me?
You: Just slower typing with one hand
You: *picks up gun*
You: Now that I know where the trigger is...
Stranger: if you can find anything sharp jam in into your stump on a hand
You: *shoots one of the aliens in the head*
Stranger: it can used to stab the aliens
You: *alien head splodes*
Stranger: nice, for a guy who can type
You: *shoots all other aliens*
You: YEEEAAAAHHHHH
Stranger: YEAHHH!
You: HOW DO YOU LIKE EARTH, BITCH
Stranger: DIDN'T YOUR MOTHER EVER TELL NOT TO MESS WITH EARTHLINGS
You: So I'm bleeding...a lot...
You: *gets in alien spaceship*
Stranger: ok you might want to find something to close the wound
You: I'm gonna fly this to the hospital
You: Just gotta figure out how it works...
Stranger: becarful
Stranger: i think you hit the candy red button
You: *pushes candy red button*
You: ...Nothing happened...
You: WAIT
You: It traveled so fast, I didn't even feel it move...
You: O_O
Stranger: whew
Stranger: do they have wifi in that thing
You: Apparently, because I haven't lost my internet connection
Stranger: ok good, before you leave. I want you to upload MeatSpin on the mothership computer you got that?
You: AMAZING IDEA SIR
You: YOU ARE A GENIUS
Stranger: so when the aliens get the shio back it would be very awwkward and gay for the aliens
You: *spams meatspin link to all alien ships possible*
Stranger: and aliens are weak against laughter
Stranger: good good, reagy to activate?
You: Ready
Stranger: 3
Stranger: 2
Stranger: MEAT SPIN!
You: *activate*
Stranger: looks like planet Earth owes you big time for this stranger
Stranger: you saved mankind
You: I owe you bigtime for saving my life, stranger. XD
Stranger: no, I'm just some guy
Stranger: I don't need any your thanks
You: This conversation will be immortalized on http://mychatisaverage.blogspot.com/
You: I need to go into the hospital now so they can fix up my leg and hand...
Stranger: ok i'll let you go
Stranger: oh and kid
Stranger: ...thanks
You: No problem.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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V1P3Rleader