Pun Raider

This conversation took place via Facebook comment thread on my status which said: "Tomb Raider time? I THINK IT IS."


Mat: I prefer Miller Time.
Me: I prefer Hammer Time
Mat: I prefer Peanut Butter Jelly Time.
Me: ...Touche
Mat: I win, Phoenix.
Ben: I hate Lara Croft. Nathan Drake, ftw.
Me: Never played Uncharted >_>. Also WTF I USED TO BE GOOD AT THIS, THAT DAMN WOLF PACK TOOK MY HEALTH DOWN TO HALF, WHAT HAPPENED?
Me: AND SUDDENLY, A F#@*ING BEAR OUT OF ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE, GODDAMN I KNEW THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN. ...I'll stop yelling now. Sorry.
Mat: I couldn't bear it if you continued.
Me: instantrimshot.com
Mat: That bear must have wolfed your corpse right down.
Me: instantrimshot.com .....Again.

And, it WOULD have, but I managed to kill it. Not before it got my, previously 1/2 health down to 1/4, however. And just now, I came across some vampire bats. One of the bastards got me before I could shoot it and now I'm down to 1/8. I swear, these creatures are gonna drive me half-batty.
Mat: Thank you, thank you, I'm here all night.
Mat: damn, you took my pun, curses.
Me: XD
Mat: I imagine you must've been packing to kill a bear. ZING!
Me: *Rimshot*

This level always gives me the creeps. There's a room where the walls are entirely made of skulls.

Also, Lara can apparently "go ghost" at will. If you push a movable block so that its corner and the corner of a wall are touching, you can jump between the touching corners and come out the other side. >_>
Mat: Sounds like you're ghosting right through that level.
Mat: But I imagine the enemies are rather hard-headed.
Mat: I'm feeling quite punny tonight.
Me: I'm gonna be doing drum solos at this rate. XD
Mat: Well, that might make your arms feel drummy.
Me: UPDATE: Apparently, I was mistaken about Skull-Room. There is actually only a section of one of the walls that is skull-built. Nevertheless, still creepy.
Mat: Going through solo must be quite unnerving.
Me: *Rimshot*
Mat: But you've always struck me as quite level-headed.
Me: *Rimshot*
Mat: Man, I'm shooting rims here, give me some new material, Tony.
Me: Well, let's see...

I encountered a pack of more wolves, which contained two more than I was expecting, jumped on one of their corpses, navigated up large rooms with ledges overhanging large bodies of water, ran past three swinging blades but accidentally jumped back and got slashed on the last one, and am now overlooking a huge room with yet ANOTHER pool of water and ANOTHER bear. That should be good for a while.
Mat: You must have looked positively slashing doing those acrobatics.
Mat: That level must be packed with wolves.
Mat: Are you still walking the ragged ledge of disaster?
Mat: this is so fun.
Mat: This is the longest pun run I've ever had.
Me: #1: *Rimshot*

And actually, you'd be mistaken there. Believe it or not, backflipping into a giant swinging axe is less graceful than you'd imagine.

#2: *Rimshot*

If I remember right, the exact number is....10? I think?

#3: Meh...

Mat: come on, that's a pun and your ass knows it.
Me: Nah, but Lara's probably does, you know she's got DAT ASS
Mat: http://instantrimshot.com/

so it's a pun war, is it? Fine then.

I hope you pooled your ammo to take care of that bear.
Mat: And you know Lara enjoys swinging around.
Mat: I wonder how bladed her life is. (bladed instead of jaded)
Me: #1: *Rimshot*

Although, it's not really even possible to, as the Pistols have infinite ammo. Although I did kinda use the water to my advantage, because apparently this bear is as idiotic as the kobolds in that it can't swim.

#2: Resounding "meh"

#3: *Rimshot*

And very, actually. Her mansion is full of expensive and antique swords and knives.

Mat: I'm not sure how long I can keep this up.
Mat: I feel like this should be immortalized somehow.
Me: Done. http://mychatisaverage.blogspot.com/2009/12/pun-raider.html

I AM OWNING LEFT AND RIGHT TODAY

VladimirsKatana (6:17:49 PM): So I recorded a guitar cover of a Metallica song. I assume you're not interested though?
crazo3077 (6:18:50 PM): I am not.
VladimirsKatana (6:18:54 PM): Alrighty.
VladimirsKatana (6:20:57 PM): Any specific reason why not, if I may ask?
crazo3077 (6:21:27 PM): Because I'm not a Metallica fan. XD
VladimirsKatana (6:22:16 PM): You don't have to be a fan of it, though. If you were to say, record a cover of a Beatles song, I'd eheck it out all the same, even though I can't stand them. It's a matter of respect, really. =P
VladimirsKatana (6:22:28 PM): *check
crazo3077 (6:22:57 PM): Hush you before I lyric spam you! D=<
VladimirsKatana (6:23:04 PM): You know I'm right.
crazo3077 (6:23:36 PM): Don't make me do it.
VladimirsKatana (6:24:00 PM): DO YOUR WORST, VILE FIEND, I've faced adversaries of this type before
VladimirsKatana (6:24:07 PM): I have my methods of countering
VladimirsKatana (6:24:11 PM): XP
crazo3077 (6:24:52 PM): ~It's not the way you smile that touched my heart.
crazo3077 (6:25:03 PM): ~It's not the way you kiss that tears me apart.
crazo3077 (6:25:16 PM): Too lazy. xP
VladimirsKatana (6:25:18 PM): KILL YOUR ENEMIES
VladimirsKatana (6:25:24 PM): MY BROTHERS DEAD AROUND ME
VladimirsKatana (6:25:32 PM): WOUNDS ARE HURTIN', DEATH IS CREEPIN' FOR ME
VladimirsKatana (6:25:43 PM): LIMBS ARE FLYING, MEN ARE CRYING, WHAT A HURTFUL SIGHT
VladimirsKatana (6:25:47 PM): THE CARNAGE MADE IS ONE FOR ALLLL
crazo3077 (6:25:49 PM): *hovers over his block options*
VladimirsKatana (6:25:51 PM): WILL I MEET MY MAKER

...What does Touchè even translate to, anyway...?

VladimirsKatana (5:39:30 PM): So I just recorded a cover of Creeping Death by Metallica
v1p3rleader (5:39:47 PM): So I just beat your Tetris score
VladimirsKatana (5:39:55 PM): So I just DICKASS AAAAARGH
v1p3rleader (5:40:05 PM): :P
VladimirsKatana (5:40:16 PM): WHATEVER, AT LEAST I WAS DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE
VladimirsKatana (5:40:18 PM): BITCH
v1p3rleader (5:40:48 PM): AT LEAST IT ONLY TOOKE ME 10 MINUTES TO TAKE THE LEAD, NOT TWO HOURS
v1p3rleader (5:41:36 PM): *took
VladimirsKatana (5:44:00 PM): ......Douchè
VladimirsKatana (5:44:10 PM): You see what I did there?
v1p3rleader (5:44:21 PM): I c wat u did thar


Later...


v1p3rleader (6:08:25 PM): ...I really don't understand why people love Metallica so much
VladimirsKatana (6:08:53 PM): I really don't understand why you love Stone Sour so much. You can't understand why I love Symphony X so much. Your point?
v1p3rleader (6:09:51 PM): ...Tou-fucking-ché

TWSS

v1p3rleader: (10:24:29 PM) WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU
VladimirsKatana: (10:24:52 PM) TRYING TO BEAT YOUR SCORE, DICKASS
v1p3rleader: (10:25:39 PM) XD
v1p3rleader: (10:29:04 PM) I like how I was able to beat it on my third try. XD
VladimirsKatana: (10:29:21 PM) END YOUR LIFE I'VE BEEN AT THIS FOR LIKE A HALF HOUR
v1p3rleader: (10:29:31 PM) TWSS
VladimirsKatana: (10:29:40 PM) WAT
v1p3rleader: (10:29:42 PM) (That's What She Said)
VladimirsKatana: (10:29:47 PM) XFD

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V1P3Rleader

FLIESFIRE

v1p3rleader: (11:36:57 PM) YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE YOUR EYES
v1p3rleader: (11:37:02 PM) IF TEN MILLION FIREFLIES
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:07 PM) NO
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:08 PM) NO
v1p3rleader: (11:37:08 PM) LIT UP THE WORLD AS I FELL ASLEEP
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:08 PM) No
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:09 PM) NO
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:10 PM) NO
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:11 PM) NO
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:13 PM) NO
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:13 PM) NO
v1p3rleader: (11:37:13 PM) XD XD XD
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:14 PM) SHUT UP
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:16 PM) SHUT UP
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:17 PM) NO
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:18 PM) SHUT NO
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:19 PM) UP
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:24 PM) GRAAAAR
v1p3rleader: (11:37:40 PM) Lmao.
v1p3rleader: (11:37:45 PM) Just...Lmao
VladimirsKatana: (11:37:55 PM) ........MCIA time?
v1p3rleader: (11:38:02 PM) I'll do it
v1p3rleader: (11:38:09 PM) Your computer is slow as slow can be

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V1P3Rleader

CAPS LOCK IS NOT COOL ANYMORE

Stranger: hello stranger
Dylan: HELLO
Stranger: how may i help you
Stranger: why are you using cap locks it is very rude
Stranger: SHUT THE FUCK UP
**disconnected**

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V1P3Rleader

Omegle Racism Fail

Stranger: aslrr?
Dylan: rr?
Stranger: race religion
Dylan: 18. m. usa. w. agnostic
Stranger: damn nothin to pick on here... all i can do is call you redneck and cracker, and say bye!

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V1P3Rleader

Semantics Issues

v1p3rleader (8:48:44 PM): So what's up? Haven't talked in awhile
v1p3rleader (8:48:45 PM): XD
VladimirsKatana (8:49:13 PM): Not much, brah, not much
VladimirsKatana (8:49:37 PM): Figured out how to download Mega Man 2 Rap for my iPod. Super happy about that
v1p3rleader (8:49:58 PM): ...I've had that on my iPod for like, 3 months
v1p3rleader (8:49:59 PM): >_>
VladimirsKatana (8:50:07 PM): I mean the video
v1p3rleader (8:50:10 PM): Ohhhhh
v1p3rleader (8:50:11 PM): XD
VladimirsKatana (8:50:14 PM): Lmao
v1p3rleader (8:50:26 PM): I was like "You fucking sent me the mp3, dipshit"
v1p3rleader (8:50:28 PM): XD
VladimirsKatana (8:50:31 PM): XFD

Twilight

val is uber 1337 (9:25:17 PM): coloring in twilight characters suuuucks
VladimirsKatana (9:25:31 PM): XFD
VladimirsKatana (9:25:39 PM): May I ask why you're doing this?
val is uber 1337 (9:25:47 PM): i'm a cartoonist for the school newspaper
val is uber 1337 (9:25:53 PM): editor said 'make something twilighty'
val is uber 1337 (9:25:57 PM): i was like 'fuck no'
val is uber 1337 (9:26:01 PM): she said 'fuck yes'
val is uber 1337 (9:26:05 PM): i said 'fuck fine'
VladimirsKatana (9:26:29 PM): fuck fuck
val is uber 1337 (9:26:35 PM): so i'm drawing bella swan wearing slutty clothes gesturing to a bedroom and pointing to herself saying 'hey boys, who wants a turn next?'
val is uber 1337 (9:26:44 PM): with a wolf and a sparkly vampire in there
val is uber 1337 (9:26:50 PM): and then waiting in line there's a zombie
val is uber 1337 (9:26:55 PM): with his arm chopped off and blood everywhere
VladimirsKatana (9:26:57 PM): LMFAO
val is uber 1337 (9:26:58 PM): frankenstein
val is uber 1337 (9:27:00 PM): a centaur
val is uber 1337 (9:27:04 PM): one of the elves that makes cookies
val is uber 1337 (9:27:07 PM): and a dragon
val is uber 1337 (9:27:15 PM): (well, the dragon's head and neck, the rest won't fit)
val is uber 1337 (9:27:24 PM): and it just says 'twilight tryouts'

Trapped

VladimirsKatana: (8:15:50 PM) I made two new MIDIs for that game, one for the world map and one for the village, want to check 'em out?
v1p3rleader: (8:16:02 PM) No thank you.....
v1p3rleader: (8:16:26 PM) Busy watching the R Kelly "Trapped In The Closet" series
VladimirsKatana: (8:16:32 PM) XD
VladimirsKatana: (8:16:42 PM) It'll take like, one minute
v1p3rleader: (8:19:11 PM) This is more important, at least right this second
VladimirsKatana: (8:21:29 PM) OH MAH GOD IT'S A MIDGET
v1p3rleader: (8:21:40 PM) I'M JUST AT THAT VIDEO
v1p3rleader: (8:21:45 PM) HOW THE FUCK
v1p3rleader: (8:21:48 PM) DID YOU DO THAT
VladimirsKatana: (8:21:50 PM) LMFAO
VladimirsKatana: (8:22:07 PM) Ironically enough, I was half expecting just that to happen, XFD
v1p3rleader: (8:22:23 PM) WE WIN SO MUCH
v1p3rleader: (8:22:29 PM) AT EVERY
v1p3rleader: (8:22:30 PM) FUCKING
v1p3rleader: (8:22:31 PM) THING

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V1P3Rleader

New Author! Introducing Val!

As some of you may have noticed by the previous post, we have a new contributor! I've known her for years, and even despite the fact that we've never met in person, I trust her more than enough to have her Co-Admin the site along with Connor (who I have, ironically enough, ALSO never truely met) and I. =D