WARNING: Thor Spoilers!

MAAAAASSIVE TL;DR ALERT

val is uber 1337 (12:37:40 AM): you ever read the thor comics?
VladimirsKatana (12:37:44 AM): Nope.
VladimirsKatana (12:37:51 AM): Never been much of a comic guy
val is uber 1337 (12:37:57 AM): want a quick synopsis of what i've read of this so far?
VladimirsKatana (12:38:04 AM): Sure
val is uber 1337 (12:38:59 AM): ok so
val is uber 1337 (12:39:04 AM): it happens post-ragnarok
val is uber 1337 (12:39:14 AM): the cataclysmic clash of the giants and gods, etc
val is uber 1337 (12:39:17 AM): so thor is dead
val is uber 1337 (12:39:21 AM): asgard is completely destroyed
val is uber 1337 (12:39:26 AM): norse gods are obliterated
val is uber 1337 (12:39:46 AM): so
val is uber 1337 (12:39:52 AM): it begins with thor fighting zombies
val is uber 1337 (12:39:54 AM): >_>
val is uber 1337 (12:40:04 AM): apparently if you kill enough zombies you come back to life?
val is uber 1337 (12:40:08 AM): i dunno that's what happened
val is uber 1337 (12:41:36 AM): so
val is uber 1337 (12:41:45 AM): he comes back to life with some human alter ego
val is uber 1337 (12:41:49 AM): dr. don blake
val is uber 1337 (12:41:51 AM): in oklahoma
val is uber 1337 (12:42:51 AM): still there?
VladimirsKatana (12:43:09 AM): Oh yeah, sorry, I was watching V. *Scrolls up*
val is uber 1337 (12:43:12 AM): sorry haha
VladimirsKatana (12:43:51 AM): Alright, got it, everyone's dead, thor earns revival through badassery, etc. etc.?
val is uber 1337 (12:43:58 AM): mhm
val is uber 1337 (12:44:00 AM): and ends up in oklahoma
val is uber 1337 (12:44:06 AM): so thor wandering around oklahoma
val is uber 1337 (12:44:13 AM): naturally, he decides to rebuild asgard there
val is uber 1337 (12:44:14 AM): -_-
VladimirsKatana (12:44:17 AM): XD
val is uber 1337 (12:44:26 AM): so he finds a nice plot of deserted oklahoma land
val is uber 1337 (12:44:33 AM): whips up an enormous storm
val is uber 1337 (12:44:41 AM): and rebuilds asgard using badassery alone
val is uber 1337 (12:44:58 AM): when he's done he just chills in his throne and looks at the stars, all emo that his love sif died and whatnot
val is uber 1337 (12:45:01 AM): untilllllll
val is uber 1337 (12:45:05 AM): *dramatic music*
val is uber 1337 (12:45:21 AM): THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT MAILS HIM A LETTER SAYING THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE A PERMIT TO BUILD A KINGDOM IN OKLAHOMA!
VladimirsKatana (12:45:28 AM): LMFAO
VladimirsKatana (12:45:56 AM): That-....That's irony if I've ever seen it, XD
val is uber 1337 (12:46:04 AM): thor, at this point, is very confused
val is uber 1337 (12:46:21 AM): he speaks in an odd mix of ye olde english and norse words
val is uber 1337 (12:46:30 AM): and he is like 'BUT WHAT IS THIS?!'
VladimirsKatana (12:46:36 AM): XD
val is uber 1337 (12:46:43 AM): so after a while
val is uber 1337 (12:46:52 AM): he decides that the best course of action is to get off of oklahoma's land
val is uber 1337 (12:47:02 AM): so he summons the spirits of thunder and wind
val is uber 1337 (12:47:11 AM): and lifts asgard
val is uber 1337 (12:47:16 AM): 8 feet off the ground of oklahoma
val is uber 1337 (12:47:18 AM): and leaves it there
val is uber 1337 (12:47:19 AM): >_>
VladimirsKatana (12:47:43 AM): XDXD
val is uber 1337 (12:47:49 AM): so asgard is hovering 8 feet above oklahoma and the oklahomans are like '.... uh... i guess that works'
VladimirsKatana (12:48:01 AM): Awesome, lmao
val is uber 1337 (12:48:03 AM): so then
val is uber 1337 (12:48:08 AM): he meets his neighbors!
val is uber 1337 (12:48:13 AM): who are all upset that he isn't a christian
val is uber 1337 (12:48:19 AM): because you know
val is uber 1337 (12:48:21 AM): it's oklahoma
val is uber 1337 (12:48:29 AM): they have a general store and eight churches
val is uber 1337 (12:49:06 AM): but after a while he convinces him that he is a friend
val is uber 1337 (12:49:15 AM): so they literally invite him over to the town hall for tea and cake
VladimirsKatana (12:49:20 AM): XD
val is uber 1337 (12:49:36 AM): afterwards, he feels a sort of beckoning call to lousiana
val is uber 1337 (12:49:38 AM): and flies there
val is uber 1337 (12:49:42 AM): and
val is uber 1337 (12:49:43 AM): and
val is uber 1337 (12:49:44 AM): get this
val is uber 1337 (12:49:47 AM): this is good
val is uber 1337 (12:50:00 AM): HE GETS PELTED BY ROCKS THROWN BY HURRICANE KATRINA SURVIVORS
VladimirsKatana (12:50:05 AM): LMFAO
val is uber 1337 (12:50:16 AM): because they are severly pissed off
val is uber 1337 (12:50:27 AM): that he didn't come to save them from the storm
val is uber 1337 (12:50:29 AM): because
val is uber 1337 (12:50:29 AM): you know
val is uber 1337 (12:50:40 AM): the residents of new orleans are devout asatruists
val is uber 1337 (12:50:47 AM): and pray to thor
val is uber 1337 (12:50:50 AM): when there's a hurricane
VladimirsKatana (12:51:00 AM): XD
val is uber 1337 (12:51:05 AM): so he's all like
val is uber 1337 (12:51:10 AM): 'NO FAGGOTS I WAS DEAD'
val is uber 1337 (12:51:23 AM): and they're like 'SO WHO CARES YOU STILL SHOULD'VE HELPED US'
val is uber 1337 (12:51:31 AM): and then
val is uber 1337 (12:51:34 AM): iron man shows up!
val is uber 1337 (12:51:40 AM): just so you know
val is uber 1337 (12:51:44 AM): at this point in the marvel time line
val is uber 1337 (12:51:49 AM): iron man is a total douchebag
val is uber 1337 (12:52:19 AM): this is after the marvel civil war, when iron man stole thor's DNA and mutated it with the hulk to create an abomination that eventually helped destroy asgard and kill thor, before being killed itself
val is uber 1337 (12:52:39 AM): so thor is like
val is uber 1337 (12:52:49 AM): 'oh you sonovab--'
val is uber 1337 (12:52:54 AM): and iron man is like 'OHAI BUDDY WAZZUP'
val is uber 1337 (12:53:20 AM): so after a bit of dramatic 'I NO LONGER CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE A COMRADE OF THEE'
val is uber 1337 (12:53:39 AM): and 'YOUR CASTLE IS HOVERING IN UNITED STATES AIRSPACE, I WILL BLOW IT THE FUCK UP'
val is uber 1337 (12:53:41 AM): they fight
VladimirsKatana (12:54:04 AM): XDXD
val is uber 1337 (12:54:29 AM): there's actually a pretty awesome monologue here
val is uber 1337 (12:54:31 AM): let me get the book
val is uber 1337 (12:54:35 AM): i'll type the whole thing
val is uber 1337 (12:55:57 AM): actually i'm gonna find a bitchin font for this
val is uber 1337 (12:56:46 AM): Ahem, testing, tesing!
val is uber 1337 (12:56:50 AM): does this font work?
VladimirsKatana (12:56:59 AM): Sure
val is uber 1337 (12:57:48 AM): give your orders and ultimatums to those who choose to obey, or are too cowardly to fight, not i!
val is uber 1337 (12:58:15 AM): or learn again the difference between a god of thunder and a man in a metal suit! as for your masters, since power is all they understand, tell them that thor says this:
val is uber 1337 (12:58:51 AM): if any mortal comes uninvited to the mighty halls of asgard on behalf of those who suppose themselves to be powers, within the hour they will learn what true power is
val is uber 1337 (12:59:12 AM): the skies will open and deliver that message in striking terms even the blind could not fail to see
val is uber 1337 (12:59:45 AM): those attempting to escape their fate will find swift death their only sanctuary
val is uber 1337 (12:59:57 AM): and this will be only the beginning of their education
val is uber 1337 (1:00:11 AM): i shall paint the skies white with fury!
val is uber 1337 (1:00:27 AM): for their own good and yours, deliver this message and remind them what being a god truly means
val is uber 1337 (1:00:57 AM): and yes
val is uber 1337 (1:01:02 AM): 100% caps lock
VladimirsKatana (1:01:25 AM): I HAAAVE THE POWERRRRRRR!
val is uber 1337 (1:01:34 AM): basically
val is uber 1337 (1:01:34 AM): XD
VladimirsKatana (1:01:34 AM): Er wat
VladimirsKatana (1:01:36 AM): Lmao
val is uber 1337 (1:02:18 AM): so then after that uh
val is uber 1337 (1:02:20 AM): some other shit happens
val is uber 1337 (1:02:24 AM): he splits africa in half
VladimirsKatana (1:02:39 AM): ...WAT. I just literally did a double-take at that, XFD
val is uber 1337 (1:02:44 AM): XD
val is uber 1337 (1:02:46 AM): yeah
val is uber 1337 (1:02:49 AM): genocide going on
val is uber 1337 (1:03:01 AM): he doesn't want to kill all the genociders or whatever they'd be called
val is uber 1337 (1:03:07 AM): because then he'd be one of them
val is uber 1337 (1:03:08 AM): or whatever
val is uber 1337 (1:03:17 AM): so he determines that the best course of action is to separate them
val is uber 1337 (1:03:18 AM): by
val is uber 1337 (1:03:20 AM): splitting africa in half
VladimirsKatana (1:03:36 AM): XDXD
val is uber 1337 (1:05:01 AM): and more happens but i don't really rememb-- oh wait, yes i do, thor's stepbrother is a transvestite
VladimirsKatana (1:05:15 AM): XFD
val is uber 1337 (1:06:07 AM): http://captainotter.today.com/files/2009/08/loki2.jpg
val is uber 1337 (1:06:14 AM): http://www.fanboysoftheuniverse.com/images/uploads/Female_Loki.PNG
val is uber 1337 (1:06:18 AM): not much i can really say here
val is uber 1337 (1:06:18 AM): >_>
VladimirsKatana (1:07:13 AM): ....LOL.
val is uber 1337 (1:07:58 AM): more official concept art
val is uber 1337 (1:07:59 AM): http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/0/9241/335202-151201-loki_large.jpg
val is uber 1337 (1:08:05 AM): so apparently he isn't just dressing differently
VladimirsKatana (1:08:55 AM): I suppose "God of Mischief" is a bit of an understatement, lmao
val is uber 1337 (1:09:16 AM): XD
val is uber 1337 (1:09:25 AM): this comic has lots of good parts
val is uber 1337 (1:09:25 AM): haha
val is uber 1337 (1:09:31 AM): the one hick who owns the diner in town
val is uber 1337 (1:09:32 AM): named bill
val is uber 1337 (1:09:39 AM): just met up with kelda
val is uber 1337 (1:10:15 AM): the goddess of springs and fountains
val is uber 1337 (1:10:39 AM): kelda: my name is kelda. born i was of the light and sky, of sunrises and the fiery winds of dawn. and you are...?
val is uber 1337 (1:10:49 AM): bill: um... bill. born of, um, bills.
val is uber 1337 (1:10:52 AM): kelda: oh?
VladimirsKatana (1:10:53 AM): XFD
val is uber 1337 (1:11:16 AM): bill: bill was my grandpa, he was big bill. and my dad, he was little bill. and i'm.. bill junior. a whole lotta bills.
val is uber 1337 (1:12:05 AM): kelda: i once knew a william the third, a king and soverign of his people. he would whisper to me in his dreams and pray for verdant harvests and good days to come. i think he sought the truth of the world, but that was long ago. centuries.
val is uber 1337 (1:12:12 AM): bill: i own a diner!